


stop time

by The_cherrio



Series: janus angst :) [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, So much angst, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26342614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_cherrio/pseuds/The_cherrio
Summary: Stopped time, captured lightsGathered imaging on photositesA sensor, small like a toothRecords in stages, pixel pages of truth
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Dark Creativity | Remus/Deceit/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Series: janus angst :) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1914190
Kudos: 10





	stop time

**Author's Note:**

> if you see this on tumblr. dw. thats most likely my account. im mother-snek!

Time was something complex. You could spend hours on things and only to realise hours have passed. You could spend more time with people than you originally thought.  
maybe that’s why it hurt Janus so much. to know he wasted so much time on things that didn’t matter. Forgetting about everyone else. So focused on other things he was blind to everything he really cared about.  
He walked the lonely halls. He didn’t know how long he had been wondering. But it had been long enough that his legs gave out from below. His lungs felt like they were on fire. But he didn’t care.  
small petals were coughed up onto his hand.  
He missed them. He missed them so gravely. He wanted to hold his family he had one had. But what was the point on going to a place he wasn’t even wanted?  
He let himself drape on the floor as a coppery metallic filled his taste buds.  
it had been going on since he was young. But it had never been this bad… maybe that was because he now knew for certain that they didn’t care about him.  
they would leave him alone to dwell in his thoughts. Wishing he could go back in time and fix what he had broken…  
Maybe it was best he stayed back in the shadows. Maybe he should have stayed there and not introduced himself to Thomas. Maybe then he would have still had Remus at least…  
he wasn’t sure where he had gone wrong with Virgil. Maybe it was all the arguing. It had seemed to be the only thing the two of them did for the last couple weeks…  
He felt his arms shake as he tried to push himself up and off the floor.  
what had it taken for him to be accepted.  
only in the end for him to decide that he would rather be alone than see the hatred that seemed to be fixed on their faces every time they entered the room.  
He was shaking. Barely breathing. But if he was going, he would at least like to be warm for the last couple minuets.  
that would be nice… it wouldn’t feel so real that way.  
With each step he could feel his life force slowly draining. Blood dripped down his arms as small white roses were stained crimson as they grew out of his arms and legs.  
He didn’t care about the pain. Nothing hurt as much as his soul ever could.  
he felt light headed as he saw the pristine white door. A moment of hesitation filled him. Wass this really what he wanted… what he deserved?  
No. it wasn’t. but he didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted someone. Just one person to see him before he faded into nothingness. Before he would see the black void. Before he would be alone for the rest of eternity.  
He gripped a slippery hand on the door. Pushing it open. Leaving a hand print in its place.  
he was gasping and wheezing for breath. The sound of laughter filled his ears, causing him to cough harshly. Masses of petals were coughed into a bloody mess onto his hands… then the laughter stopped. Replaced with a deathly silence.  
He shook as he leaned on the doorframe before pushing himself forwards.  
the only sound that filled his ears were the sounds of his shoes clicking against the smooth surface of the floor. And then a scream. He looked to the source of the noise to see a familiar face and let a weak smile grace his lips.  
his vision turning ever so blurry as he stood still, wrapped in thorns and roses that dripped crimson tears to the floor.  
“hi,” he rasped, afraid if he moved he would end up crashing to the floor.  
The sound of footsteps reached his ears… his vision was now a blur, but he could make out the colours.  
“what the fuck…” he heard one of them whisper in terror.  
The world around him began to spin. Heh… maybe this was a bad idea after all…  
“Janus!” several of them yelled as he toppled to the side.  
but he didn’t land on the floor. A pair of strong arms caught him before he could end up there. He let out a hiss of pain as another rose made its way out of his skin.  
A small whimper came from his right and the sounds of people moving were the only things he could process. His brain was becoming foggy. His mind unable to comprehend what was happening to him.  
Was this what dying felt like?  
He sucked in a breath as someone picked him up bridal style. Pain shot everywhere… small tears pricked his eyes.  
“hey…can you tell me who’s here?” he whispered, his breathing becoming more laboured as his lungs filled further with petals.  
“I’m here,” roman, “Patton, Virgil, Logan, Remus are all here as well. Come on, let’s get you fixed up, okay?” he muttered, fear laced in his voice.  
“naw, I think I’m gonna take a nap,” Janus muttered as his eyes slowly became heavier.  
“Janus, please. We need you to stay awake,” Virgil said sternly.  
“no you don’t…” he chuckled, “I don’t want to cause you guys anymore pain,” he gasped out as another flower bloomed, covering his one human eye.  
“falsehood. We may not act like it. but we do care Janus,” Logan said sharply, If Janus could see him, he would see the tears streaking down his face.  
“heh…” Janus muttered.  
“please Jannie. We can’t lose you,” Remus said, his voice cracking in the process, “we love you too much to lose you,” he hiccupped.  
A warm feeling spread in Janus’s chest at his words.  
he let his shoulders relax. The pain numbing as he closed his eyes. His chest rising slowly.  
“Janus?” he couldn’t tell who had spoken it.  
“hey Janus, can you open your eyes?” his breathing was getting lighter.  
“Janus please-“he slipped into a deep sleep.  
his breathing evening out as he did so.  
\--  
Roman looked at Janus as he slept peacefully on the now crimson couch. A wave of fear and panic seemed to rest over everyone.  
“wait- look!” Virgil said as he pointed to one of the gruesomely beautiful white roses.  
it was willing. Drooping before loosing a petal. Then another.  
then the rose next to it began to do the same. And after ten minutes. The second last one was gone. Leaving the one that rested blooming above his eye.  
They didn’t move from his side unless necessary. Not wanting to leave him alone.  
they tried to clear anything that remained. The blood that had been left behind in a trail was cleaned up by Remus who had dealt with blood on more than one occasion.  
They didn’t move after three days.  
they didn’t move after a week.  
but it was half way into the second that Patton was summoned.  
Thomas had been confused as to why he had felt so unmotivated in all aspects during the time. Cancelling plans, he had been exited for.  
“something popped up kiddo. Ill inform you when its solved okay? don’t worry yourself,” Patton said, a fake smile plastered on his face.  
“Patton… don’t lie to me. I can tell you’ve been crying,” Thomas said as he saw the smile falter ever so slightly.  
“its Janus… we don’t know if he’s going to wake up…” Patton said quietly.  
“why? Did something happen to him?”  
Flashes of images provided via Remus caused him to stumble slightly. Images of Janus in a thorny prison with a look of longing in his eyes. Covered in blood he could only assume was the sides.  
“Patton?” Thomas muttered horrified.  
“I know kiddo,” Patton's voice cracked.  
They stood there in silence as Thomas processed what was going on. One of his sides had been suffering from what looked like a curse he wouldn’t even put on his own enemy.  
“why did it happen?” Thomas asked curiously.  
“we don’t know… but according to Virgil it happened once prior when we were younger. Just on a less extreme scale,” Patton said slowly, “Remus said that it happened when Janus had felt alone. Like there was no one who would be there… no one who loved him,” tears poured down Patton's face as he curled himself into a ball on the floor.  
Thomas felt tears of his own slip down his face. had Janus really felt like that? why wouldn’t he say anything. Did he think that no one would care if he was slowly dying…  
not only that… how long had he been suffering in silence?  
Thomas had a lot to think about, and for once he wished he wasn’t so torn up on the inside.  
\--  
His eyes snapped open when he heard the groan.  
Virgil stared at Janus as he moved himself to his side, tugging the blanket they had draped over him after cleaning up as best as possible.  
He gently shook the others as he was filled with excitement.  
“what-?” Remus said as he woke up.  
“Janus is stirring,” Virgil said with excitement and worry laced in is voice.  
Virgil saw Remus’s eyes snap open at is words. Quickly moving to help Virgil wake the others.  
Five minuets later he was, along with the others, sitting near Janus, watching intently.  
a small groan let Janus as his eyes cracked open.  
\--  
Light flooded his vision. a small groan left as he pulled the blanket further over himself.  
wait. Since when was the dark side light enough to blind him? And when did he ever own such a soft blanket in the first place?  
Why did he feel like he had been hit by a truck most of all.  
“Jannie?” a voice called.  
“Remus?” he said as he poked his head out of the blanket, “where am I…?” he said as he rubbed his eyes only to pause in a wince of pain.  
Well, that was unexpected. He looked at his hand that had a fresh droplet of blood.  
He reached back up before he himself froze. What the hell was that?  
it was then that he realised it wasn’t just Remus in the room. But the other sides as well. They all looked relived but concerned for some reason.  
“roman?” he asked getting the sides attention, “do you have a mirror I could borrow,” he asked.  
“of course Janus,” roman said with a grin.  
Janus turned fifty shades white as he heard the words that left roman.  
“how do you know my name,” he muttered horrified.  
his eyes snapped to Remus and Virgil.  
“you told us,” roman said, “don’t you recall?”  
“I would remember telling you my name. and I sure as hell have not,” he hissed.  
no one spoke as Janus pushed himself as far away from the sides as possible.  
“well… what is the last thing you remember?”  
“the courtroom where none of you were bothering to listen to me,” he grumbled.  
“Janus. The wedding was over a month ago,” Patton said softly.  
“what?” Janus said staring between them all, “well… that still doesn’t give me an answer. Why did I tell you my name?”  
“its my fault,” Patton muttered, “i took your side. Roman was confused since we didn’t listen to you, but when I took your side he became defensive and he didn’t know if he could trust you and-“ Patton said he had to pause as he shook on the spot.  
“you revealed your name in he hopes he would trust you,”  
“did it work?” Janus muttered.  
“no- “Patton began.  
“it didn’t,” roman cut in, “I made fun of your name. you snapped back and I acted childish and ran off. Its my fault and mine alone,”  
“that’s a lie,” Janus muttered. “sounds like it’s a three-way fault here,” he chuckled.  
He shivered as a cold drat swept over him. Causing him to pull the blanket further up.  
Virgil smiled weakly. It took a lot for Janus to believe someone. Maybe there was some hope after all.  
He let out a loud sigh and removed his patchwork hoodie before throwing it on Janus, startling the snake who made a small yelp noise as he pulled it off his face.  
“what- “he looked at it with shock.  
“you’re cold. I’m not,” he smirked.  
His previously hidden limbs uncurled from behind. Very dark purple spider legs sat behind him. Janus only stared in shock.  
“am I sane?” he whispered to out loud.  
“I have no fucking clue,” Remus muttered back in just as much shock.  
Janus looked back to the hoodie that sat in his hands before letting out a small sigh. A smile creeping its way upon his face.  
He slipped it on and he would be lying if he said he didn’t almost melt like putty into the thing.  
“you may never be getting that back dear emo,” roman chuckled, “oh before I forget!”  
Roman pulled out a small bronze, pocket sized mirror before holding it up to Janus who almost had to double take.  
dried blood laid in-between his scales. He looked ghostly pale as he felt.  
But it was the small rose that had told him everything. But why had he felt so alone compared to right now.  
“you gave us quite the fright kiddo,” Patton said, “I thought that I was going to lose you when you closed your eyes.”  
“who said it?” he asked looking at Virgil.  
“Remus, you seemed to still believe him in that moment,” he grinned back.  
“I see…” he said as he looked at the now rather uncomfortable side.  
“listen,” Logan said, “I know we may not show it in the best way. but we do care about you Janus. And if EVER you feel like that again. You tell one of us and we will remind you how much we love and care for you.”  
“the nerd is correct!” roman cheered.  
“the amount of times we’ve been angry at one another doesn’t outweigh the love, okay?” Patton said.  
Janus felt tears streaking down his face.  
“so you could say the amount of times you’d like to see me looking like that is… infinitesimal?” a silence spread through the room.  
Logan stood up and walked out of the room without a word.  
Patton burst out laughing.  
he turned to see roman and Remus snickering and Virgil with a small amused look on his face.  
“nice on,” he said as he stood up, stretching all of his limbs,” well. I’m going to make sure you didn’t break the braincell, when your ready give me my hoodie back,” he said before walking after Logan.  
Janus looked onwards with a smile. Sure, he may not remember the past couple months. But right now, he was okay with that. he had everyone he ever needed surrounding him.  
And he wouldn’t want to spend his time any other way.


End file.
